Waking Up In Vegas

I love this song! Katy Perry is a genius, when it comes to music. A few things have happened over the past few days. I dropped Andy off at home, which like broke my heart cause I didn't want him to leave. I miss him so much, I can't wait to see him again. I got frustrated with a friend of mine who ran her own forum, so I decided to make my own. Which really worked, and I did it for free, which is even better.

I just need more people to join it and then I have myself a good thing going. I just want it to be something that my friends can go on and have fun. It's drama free, and surprisingly stress free. I really love how amazing it looks, and how far it has come in only two days. I know that this is going to be a good thing.

Life is really going good. I have an amazing guy who loves me, and I love him. He has my heart, and I would like to think that I have his even though it has never been said. I can't wait to marry him someday and I really think it will happen. I mean love blooms from friendship they say, well this really bloomed. I can't think about anything else but him most of the time.

I feel like I can talk to him about anything and everything. Even though sometimes I don't think he really cares. I could be wrong though, but who would really care about something that doesn't really matter anyway. It's just when I am with him, nothing else seems to matter. I just want to be near him, and I guess that is what is killing me now.

I miss him, his voice, being able to cuddle with him. It's like it doesn't feel right when I am not with him. I don't feel right, it's like he took part of me with him when he went home. Not that I would admit that to him or anything. I just hope that he feels the same, and he misses me that much. I probably sound really weird right now, but I don't care.

It's how I feel, and that isn't likely to change. I mean I love him, so much. So so so so so much XD. I don't know if there is anything else to write about so I guess I will cut it off here. I have written a lot already it seems XD.

I love you! *blows kisses*
Ashes

Enter Sandman

Hello,
Well today has been adventurous to say the least, interesting things happened. People have been hurt, things have gone wrong. But overall I don't think it was such an awful day. I mean sure my boyfriend had his wrist split and other things have gone wrong. Okay I should just stop there, today was an awful day. People got sick, and such. The only half way decent thing was that I was with Andrew. My family really seemed to like him, and that is so much of a good thing.

Okay, I should probably elaborate on the whole my boyfriend splitting his wrist. Well we were locked out of the house, and I forgot my keys. He was trying to open the window so we could get in, and he tried opening it and the window broke. The glass shards split, and it got into his wrists. He was bleeding, I was freaking, and I ran off after I got a towel. Well Andy chased after me towels and all.

He caught up with me, and I started sobbing so badly. He held me while I cried, I felt so bad and everything. I was all my fault for not having my keys like I should have. He started crying, and I felt even worse about it. But he still loves me, though I don't really know why.

But it's okay now.
I love you all.
Ashes <3

Inside the Fire

This was the song playing, so I thought why not? I am sitting in my room at dad's watching Andy play Madden. Jeffie just got here, and told me some really good news. He is the best big brother ever. He will always be there for me when I need him, and I hope to be there for him. Sierra is in a little bit of a bad mood, but I am thinking once she sees Jeff she will be happy. I am a little worried since we are running a little bit late. But we should overall make it on time.

He looks really cute today, I don't know what it is. Not that he doesn't always look cute, he just does more today. I loves him lots, and I love that he is here with me. I love snuggling with him, and he is so cuddly. XD If he ever reads this I will probably jump off a bridge XD Not really but I think I would die from blushing. I think today will be a good day, it has to be better than yesterday.

I am nervous, but excited for my family to meet Andrew. I mean I know they will like him, but I hope they will all be cool. My grandma seems to think that I am going crazy since I turned 18. I think that is some bullshit. I am sorry, that is what is supposed to happen when you get older. I mean they would say the same about Ryan if they knew that he goes out and gets drunk every weekend.

But no, they don't know about that. He wants to keep in their good graces, so he asks everyone to keep quiet about it. When he was my age, he had even more freedom than I ever had. As for that, if I was going to go crazy at college I wouldn't be going. I know how to handle myself, and I can do it. Whether they think I can or not who cares.

Truly Madly Deeply

Hey all!
I thought since I had a minute I would type out a quick blog. I have been hanging out with Andrew since last night. We have been having a good time, and have really been getting closer to each other. I really love him, and I see how much he loves me. I know he will always be there for me when I need him. I thought that this song would be an appropriate. It makes me think of him, along with I knew I loved you. Savage Garden is the shit.

I am trying to get Sierra to wear a dress for her and Jeff's first anniversary. But she is giving me a hard time, and she looks so pretty in it. Green really brings out her eyes, and she really looks adorable. I wish she would just listen to me for once, I do know what I am talking about. People should know this by now.

I don't know what else to talk about, I mean sure I have things I could talk about but I am not going to. I think I want to go to the beach later and swim in the water, it sounds like a fun thing to do. I feel bad for Andrew cause he is doing all this running and stuff, and doesn't even get the comfort of taking a shower. I love him, and I don't think that he should have to be doing that alone.

Really I am kicking myself now, for letting Sierra do that. But I can't change it now, I guess. I am really in love with him, and I hope he is with me. Well I guess I will end it here, since I really have nothing else to touch on.

I love you all. *blows kisses*
Ashes <3

Wind Blows

Well speaking of a stalker song, someone who has stalked me before messaged me O_o. It's a little creepy, I kind of feel stalked again. It makes me think back to the other night. We were in the dark, and alone in the car. I felt like there was someone watching us. I could swear that there were people outside walking around. They were dressed in black. I had no cell phone service, and I was getting really scared. So this just makes me even more creeped out.

I don't want anyone to worry though. It's all good nothing is going to happen, he is a calm stalker. Or at least I think XDDDDD But mostly, I don't think that he will come here from where he lives. It's not a big deal though. So on to another subject, yesterday we had a close call at the beach. The waves were super high and got higher as we swam. It was scary, especially we accidentally got behind the swim area.

I got us all out, but there were others that weren't so lucky. There is a guy who is in the hospital, and others almost drowned trying to save him. I am glad that we also did not go onto the pier like we were going to. The waves would have knocked us right into the water. I also think I am going to start doing a vlog, like Shane Dawson. I think it would be a lot of fun, and really might help me. Although I am better at writing rather than talking.

Blogging is so much easier for me, I really like it a lot. It's more like a journal than anything for me. This is like my second blog today, I am getting back into the habit! Woot Woot. Now I think it is a time to talk about Andy. I loves him so much. He makes me smile and laugh all the time. I can't think about anything other than him. I love talking to him, it is all I want to do most of the time.

He really cares about me, and I would do anything for him. Anything at all, he need only ask and I would. I can't wait until we are both out of school, and we can be together all the time. Nothing would make me happier than spending the rest of my life with him. I mean I can easily see a future with us together, more like that is the only future I see.

I know this is all mushy, and I doubt he will ever see this one, but I love him. Lots and lots and lots. He is always making me blush with his sweetness. The other day he wrote me the most romantic note, just so I could wake up to it. I swear that is the most romantic and sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. It make me cry honestly, it was so amazing.

Well I think that is all I can write today.
I love you! *blows kisses*
Ashes

Mama We All Go To Hell

A really good title, and a very good My Chemical Romance song. I think I am in a My Chem mood cause it's all gloomy outside. I think it is going to rain, not that My Chem makes me depressed. It cheers me up when I need it. I am just having a little bit of an off day. It happens to everyone, I guess without the bad days we would not know good days. Sierra is bored, and missing her boo I can tell. He is at work, but I kind of want her and I to hang. It seems all we do is hang out with Jeff and then they go make-out somewhere. I mean what kind of upset me yesterday was she asked if the song that was meant to be Jeff and I's could be her's and his. Not that it's a big deal but it kind of made me go What?

Andrew read my blog which is like my diary in a way... I mean I never expected him to want to read it but w/e. I trust him, even though I wanted to edit it out. XD I remember when I would write more than on blog a day, just because I wanted to. Well I am getting back in the habit now that I have more to write about. Life is amazingly good, almost too good to be true. Sometimes I think I am dreaming it is really that good. I have found love, and I am right where I want to be. It's like everything is finally falling into place, just like I would always tell everyone else.

I would never take my own advice, when I would tell people that everything was going to fall into place and be okay. I found what I was looking for, when I wasn't looking. Just like Steph said so long ago, I guess she was more right than she even knew. Love just seems to find you in the least expectant way. But I guess that is the beauty of it. Like a rose you have to wait for it to bloom, so that the beauty shines through. You read things in romance novels, and watch them in romantic comedies, and you don't expect them to come true.

But then you will find that one day you will find something worthy of all that. Something where the flaws don't matter, all that matter's is the love that you have for each other. No one else seems to be seen, it is just the other for you. It doesn't matter if you are always with the person or not, just talking to them warms your heart. Then when you are together it is so much more special. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. They knew what they were talking about that day.

Alright I think that is enough mushy loveness. XD

Love you all! *blow kisses*
Ashes

Ashes to Ashes

Hey ya'll,

Sorry it has been so long since I have blogged, but a lot has been going on! Well let me try to catch you all up real quick! I graduated high school, gone through a few boyfriends, found the love of my life, and I have been getting ready for college which starts soon. So I have been a busy, busy person! My life has been in a constant state of insanity, and I have loved every minute of it.

First let me tell you about my love! His name is Andrew, and he is so sweet! I think about him all the time, and he makes me so happy. I can't even picture myself with anyone else, and the thing is for some reason, he loves me too. O_o. He does the little things that make me appreciate him even more. We have even been talking about getting married in the future. I love him more than anyone I have ever known.

Next is college, I am going to Eastern Michigan University. I am going to be a Psychology major. I hope to become a Forensic Psychologist one day. That is like my dream job. I can't wait to learn more, and I am excited to see what comes of that. I am scared and excited for college, I mean it's a big change. I am going to be on my own for the first time. I hope I can handle it, I mean every tells me I can. It's a common fear, I mean everyone has those feelings at times.

What to talk about next, oh how about the lost boyfriends. Lamont was one, he was sweet and all but it just didn't work out. I lost all feelings for him, even though he really loved me. I feel bad, but that was also because he would constantly make me feel bad. But the best thing is, Andrew stood up for me. No one had ever done that for me. Now Lamont doesn't mess with me, cause he knows he will get it. I feel so loved and protected.

Well it's time for me to go. I love you all! *blows kisses*

Ashes